Enter Chris Swallow Jr! Chris’ father is Jimi Hendrix, and his mother is Eric Clapton. On the day he was born, he roundhouse kicked the doctor, stole his guitar, and played Eruption. He only messed up three times. As a child, doctors diagnosed him as “too funky”, and his parents cried as he was shipped off to live out the rest of his days on a deserted island, where his sick grooves and tasty licks could no longer harm anyone. In April of 2018, he swam his way back to Philadelphia and joined Platinum Groove, and nine months later, everyone had a baby.